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Succeed Through The Life Experiences Of Others
Dictionary.com defines a mentor as follows:
1. A wise and trusted counselor or teacher.
2. Mentor Greek Mythology. Odysseus's trusted counselor, in whose guise Athena became the guardian and teacher of Telemachus.
v.: Informal men·tored, men·tor·ing, men·tors
v. intr.: To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher, especially in occupational settings.
v. tr.: To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher to (another person).
Ok, now that we have broken down into the cold hard facts of what a mentor is, lets touch on some of the benefits that you'll gain from developing strong mentor relationships in your own life. I'm going to give a few examples that I hope you will be able to apply to your own life situation.
First off, I believe it's extremely important to understand that to get the maximum benefit from the people you choose to enter into a mentor relationship with, you'll do well to keep in mind that we always get more with honey or when we can sweeten the deal for those we're asking to help us. I'm not saying you have to offer to give your first born child to your prospective mentor, nor should you have to take a second mortgage out on your house :-).
The fact is that most of the time mentors give freely of their time. Yet we have to keep clearly in mind that what is free to us, is not to them. It's their time, and often to the people who are leaders in their given area, time is money to them. So you've naturally got to first sweeten the deal for these folks -- make them want to share their knowledge with you.
Often times this can be as simple as promising to help another person down the road. It could be any number of things, but the easiest way to find out and I believe encourage others to consider being your mentor, is to ask them what they would want from you in return for being your mentor. Simply let them know that you value them and their time. You know that you may be asking a great deal of them, and for that you are more then willing to offer something back in return for the wisdom they will undoubtedly share with you over the years.
Then just ask them what they would want that thing to be. Obviously, some people are going to fire back with a response that isn't within your ability to offer. If this happens simply thank them kindly and be honest. Let them know that you are not at a point in your life where you can offer that. Don't make the mistake of burning any bridges, leave it open so that you can come back to them at a later point if necessary.
I have a friend that did just that, and upon doing so was offered an internship with the person he was asking to be his mentor. It seemed that the person appreciated his willingness to reach for more success, but even more appreciated his honesty.
Another thing we want to keep clearly in mind as we search out and grow our network of mentors and trusted advisors is to look to those people who have reached a point that we personally judge them to be successful in the particular area that we ourselves want to excel in. I can't begin to tell you the vast number of stories I've heard from people who say they had this wonderful idea, they went to their mother, father, great uncle Joe, whoever, and upon finishing up they were convinced that the idea would not work.
Can you relate to this? I am going to go out on a limb here and guess that you have had at least one similar occurrence in your life. The reason for this is simple. Very often, the people they chose to ask for advice didn't know the first thing about achieving at the given task!
Look, if you have a dream of making a living a as a public speaker, you better start surrounding yourself with other public speakers who have figured out a way to earn a comfortable living doing so. First off, you will find in the wisdom these people share the fuel to keep you going as you trudge on to your eventual success as a keynote or public speaker.
Secondly, you might also end up shaving off years of making the wrong decisions. That in itself is worth a gold mine to your level of achievement in virtually any undertaking. Here is another example, if you want to become a teacher you would be served well to associate with and ask the advice of other teachers. Even more important is to reach out those who have entered the teaching profession and gone beyond and excelled in the world of education.
Ask around, in everything there are always the names of people that rise to the top. They become highly regarded in their given endeavor. These are the people you want to reach out to and associate yourself with. Like very often becomes like, whether we choose to admit it or not. It is also very likely that you might end up with several mentors that you can call upon for various life situations.
Just this past week I made up my mind that I wanted to make a push to have my columns (the article you're reading now - if you know anyone that can help me reach this goal, I'd appreciate you dropping me an e-mail about it) appear in more traditional media, such as magazines, newspapers, etc.
I can tell you, for years I have been syndicating my columns online in some form (dating back as far as '97 or earlier I guess now). I feel as though I've met with some success in this area, yet I've got more lofty goals. At any rate, I decided rather then go along by trial and error as I'd been doing (grant it meeting with moderate success) I would seek the advice of a friend I have come to know and trust over the years, Jeff Keller (www.attitudeiseverything.com).
Jeff is a public speaker and author, so I had no doubt that I was reaching out to qualified person to ask on such advice. In short order, Jeff had sent me back several real world examples that I could begin to apply to my own scenario... and one idea that will no doubt save me loads of time! Jeff's counsel saved me a huge amount of time and the suggestions he shared were invaluable.
The point I want to make with the previous example is very simply, if I would reached out with that question to say my friend that is in real-estate development, do you think the results would have been anywhere as effective as the one I got from Jeff? Probably not, not that my real-estate friend wouldn't have meant well, it's just that he doesn't have the life experiences that Jeff does that make him qualified to advise others on the given topic.
There is an old saying I just love, and if you've been reading this column for any length of time you have probably heard me say it before. It is very simply that, "success leaves clues". You will find that in the personal mentor relationships you develop. As well as the countless books, tapes, seminars and courses that can also act as great mentors as well.
Along the same lines, I would encourage you to look for ways that you can be a mentor to another person. I have found that one of life's greatest rewards (yes, it even tops monetary rewards as far as I am concerned!) comes when someone takes the time to write a simple note letting me know that something I've written about had a positive impact on them in some way. I am telling you, for a small town country boy from Tuscaloosa, Alabama that's BIG time :-)
You have to understand though, that it isn't a feeling that is reserved for a select few. You, me, and the person next to us all have unique talents and life experiences we can share that can play a part in the development of another person. That is powerful stuff! And it is something that I believe is worth exploring in your own life. I believe it is one of the purest forms of giving. And we all know that there is a basic human law that say's "the more you give, the more it in turn seems to make its way back to you".
Here is hoping that you're finding yourself at a wonderful point in your life...
Written by Josh Hinds
www.getmotivation.com
In this article, Josh mentions the valuable help provided to him by Jeff Keller.
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