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Getting a Fresh Start:
Ten Changes That Will Get You On The Right Track
There is nothing special about the beginning of the new year. We could just as easily make resolutions, set goals and reflect on our lives any time of year. But psychologically it helps to have a point where one segment of our life comes to a close and a fresh, new segment begins. So as the new year begins, use it as an opportunity for a fresh start. Here are ten ways to help you get off to a good start in the new year.
1. Exercise
Probably the most common new year's resolution is to exercise more. Not only is exercise good for your body, it's an essential element of good mental health. But good intentions won't build up much of a sweat. There are two keys to making your exercise idea a reality. First, you need a specific plan. What are you going to do and when are you going to do it? If your plan is to start doing yoga -- when (day, time) and where (place) will you being doing yoga? Second, you need to base your actions on your purpose rather than your feelings. Stop trying to motivate yourself or psyche yourself up. A more effective strategy is to learn to accept and co-exist with your feelings while you channel your effort towards your stated purpose. In other words, stop working on your mind and let your body do the work.
2. Simplify: Reduce Your Stuff
Having lots of stuff won't give you happiness or fulfillment. The price of your stuff goes way beyond the credit card payment that comes the following month. Stuff requires time -- time for buying it, time for assembling it, learning what to do with it and (eventually) fixing it. Stuff also requires space. It requires space in your life while you own it and it requires space in a landfill when you disown it. The more you spend on stuff, the more hours you have to work to pay for it, and that leaves less hours for things that are important other than stuff (playing with your kids, for example). U.S. citizens account for about 5% of the world's population. We use about 30% of the world's resources. Americans like stuff. But if you're like me, you probably have too much of it. So start off the year by getting rid of some of it. Each January I participate in the ToDo Institute's Simplify Your Life Distance Learning Course. One of the exercises for January is to get rid of two objects for every non-consumable object you acquire. The result? I buy less stuff, since I have to think of things to get rid of. And, inevitably, my life feels a bit lighter at the end of the month. So lighten your load and get rid of some of your unnecessary stuff.
3. Set a Goal
Often, when I begin a workshop I ask participants to identify their three most important accomplishments of the past year. I am often struck by how many people will have difficulty finding three things they have accomplished. They will say, "it was an accomplishment just getting through the year." Our lives are very precious and there are so many important and meaningful things we can do. It is a shame to mindlessly get stuck in a rut and have accomplished little by the end of our lives beyond having stayed alive this long. So consider setting a challenging goal or two and give yourself something meaningful to work towards during the upcoming year.
4. Learn to do something New
My colleague's Trudy's mother is now eighty three years old. Each year on her birthday she identifies something new she wants to learn. At age seventy five she learned to swim and continues to swim three times each week. At age eighty she learned to watercolor. We are living in an age of information where we learn more "about" things and less how to do them. We can go on the internet and within moments get information on the nutritional composition of maple syrup and the relative quantities of syrup produced by Vermont and Quebec. But we no longer know how to actually make our own syrup. Learning to do something keeps life interesting . . . and keeps us humble.
5. Reduce or eliminate TV time
If you don't have a television set or you watch one show per week, then give yourself a point and move on to number six. For the rest of us, this is where you can find one of the great and elusive treasures of life -- time. Even if you only watch an hour a day, you're still watching more than 350 hours per year. That's the equivalent of about 44 eight-hour days. Think about what you could accomplish if you freed up that much time. Television also works against healthy attention skills and exercise. If you're trying to cut back on TV but are having difficulty, try putting the television in a closet and bring it out only when there is a show on that you're planning to watch. Just the extra time and effort it takes to set up the TV gives you an opportunity to make wiser choices about what and when you watch.
6. Improve Your Attention Skills
Skillful attention is really an art and this art is the foundation of the Japanese Psychology that we teach at the ToDo Institute. Most of us are much too self-focused and it takes conscious effort and practice to learn how to shift our attention and notice what we're missing. You can develop better attention skills through practice, in fact, that's the only way to develop your attention. So give yourself an attention exercise each day, or each week -- something you can consciously work on. This is a no risk investment with a wonderful return.
7. Give Yourself Away
I was recently returning from Vietnam two days after Christmas. At the airport in Saigon we had to stop at a booth to pay a $12 departure tax before we were allowed to go to the gate. I had just payed the tax when I heard a commotion at the other end of the table. A man from France was arguing with the airport "tax collector." It seems that he didn't have enough money for the tax and was claiming he didn't know there would be a tax. The tax collector behind the table was firm about not letting him through until he paid the tax. Without hesitation, my friend Steve reached into his pocket, pulled out a $10 bill and offered it to the frustrated passenger. At first he refused it, then offered to send Steve the money once he got home. Steve just smiled and said, "Consider it a Christmas present." This reminded me of David Dunn's great little book, "Try Giving Yourself Away." So this year, consider taking on a role in which at least part of your time is devoted to helping others have a better life.
8. Make time for Self-Reflection
Most of us have busy lives. We go from one thing to another, checking off items on our todo lists and palm pilots. But just as there are natural cycles of day and night, and sun and rain, we must create a natural cycle of action and reflection in our daily lives. Without the latter we find ourselves living a life which is out of balance. So build in some time for quiet self-reflection in your schedule. The Japanese approach called "Naikan" is a method of self-reflection that can be done anytime -- early morning, before bed, even in the car driving home from the supermarket. Consider going on a retreat this year or do some solo camping in the mountains. Self-reflection is the vehicle for cultivating gratitude and gaining clarity on how you need to live. Self-reflection gives you perspective and keeps you from getting caught up in your day to day life without seeing the bigger picture. So this year, balance your busy life with some quiet time.
9. Finish something that has gone unfinished
Few things create more psychological clutter than a collection of unfinished projects. A book half written; a bedroom half painted; the reorganization of the upstairs storage closet that was almost, but not quite, completed. And what ever happened to the Will you started to draft? Make a list of all your unfinished business and set aside a small block of time each week, even 30 minutes, to work on a single project. If you stay with it, eventually you'll finish it.
10. Take a Risk
During the past 25 years author Richard Leider (The Power of Purpose, Berrett-Koehler, 1997) interviewed more than 1,000 senior citizens. He asked them to look back on their lives and talk about what they had learned. Many said that if they could live their lives over again they would take more risks. They said they felt most alive when they took risks. Frequently I find that people who are unhappy or struggling with depression acknowledge that they're not doing what they really want to do with their lives. But to make positive changes would involve risk, often giving up security, comfort or a nice salary. Are there changes you would like to make but you're held back by the associated risks? At the end of your life, when you look back, will you regret having played it safe? If so, maybe this is the year to venture into uncharted territory and go after your dream.
Statistically, most people won't keep their New Year's resolutions -- at least for very long. It's difficult to break free from the momentum of the past which tugs us repeatedly into maintaining the same habits and lifestyle. So you need to create new momentum that will work in your favor. Perseverance is the key. Each time you get off track just get back on track one more time. Don't strive to make it a happy year. Strive to live a good life according to your own ideals. We only have about thirty thousand days to take advantage of this life and this body. You've used up quite a few of those days already. Treat them as if they were precious. Once they're gone, there's nothing you can do to get them back.
by Gregg Krech
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